From 386e6f0451a638a5b7e1192811df4e08f9e4a2e4 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: mjl Date: Thu, 8 May 2003 17:01:04 +0000 Subject: [PATCH] Move limericks to limerick file. Sort that and uniq. --- games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes | 117 ----------------------------- games/fortune/datfiles/limerick | 126 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++--- 2 files changed, 115 insertions(+), 128 deletions(-) diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes index eac7ca450ba7..3179d81757ac 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes @@ -188,13 +188,6 @@ wants to read. % A closed mouth gathers no foot. % -A computer, to print out a fact, -Will divide, multiply, and subtract. - But this output can be - No more than debris, -If the input was short of exact. - -- Gigo -% A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. % A CONS is an object which cares. @@ -213,12 +206,6 @@ damned things is ample. A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. -- Ben Franklin % -A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison -And had an affair with a Saracen. - She was not oversexed, - Or jealous or vexed, -She just wanted to make a comparison. -% A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern. -- Edgar A. Shoaff @@ -257,12 +244,6 @@ architect." A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. -- Ogden Nash % -A dozen, a gross, and a score, -Plus three times the square root of four, - Divided by seven, - Plus five times eleven, -Equals nine squared plus zero, no more. -% A famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox 1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to help, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network @@ -381,12 +362,6 @@ A Law of Computer Programming: Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the programmers cannot write in English. % -A limerick packs laughs anatomical -Into space that is quite economical. - But the good ones I've seen - So seldom are clean, -And the clean ones so seldom are comical. -% A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing. -- Alan Perlis @@ -495,12 +470,6 @@ on loan," the teacher replied. At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside the stable. "But I can hear it bray, over there." "Whom do you believe," asked Nasrudin, "me or a donkey?" % -A new dramatist of the absurd -Has a voice that will shortly be heard. - I learn from my spies - He's about to devise -An unprintable three-letter word. -% A new koan: If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you. @@ -754,22 +723,10 @@ in students. A University without students is like an ointment without a fly. -- Ed Nather, professor of astronomy at UT Austin % -A UNIX saleslady, Lenore, -Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more. - She found a good way - To combine work and play: -She sells C shells by the seashore. -% A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with. -- Tennessee Williams % -A very intelligent turtle -Found programming UNIX a hurdle - The system, you see, - Ran as slow as did he, -And that's not saying much for the turtle. -% A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous. % @@ -3146,13 +3103,6 @@ Dentist, n.: coins out of one's pockets. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" % -Despising machines to a man, -The Luddites joined up with the Klan, - And ride out by night - In a sheeting of white -To lynch all the robots they can. - -- C. M. and G. A. Maxson -% Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table. @@ -4079,12 +4029,6 @@ granted. If I were you, I'd walk right up and smack them in the face. Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity. -- Robert Firth % -Flappity, floppity, flip -The mouse on the m"obius strip; - The strip revolved, - The mouse dissolved -In a chronodimensional skip. -% FLASH! Intelligence of mankind decreasing. Details at ... uh, when the little hand is on the .... % @@ -6955,12 +6899,6 @@ the sucker. % If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair. % -If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, -It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. - Or some joker who is slicker, - Will trick you of your liquor, -If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock. -% If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. -- Derek Bok, president of Harvard % @@ -8335,12 +8273,6 @@ Like the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem. -- Alan McKay % -Limericks are art forms complex, -Their topics run chiefly to sex. - They usually have virgins, - And masculine urgin's, -And other erotic effects. -% Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations. % Linus: I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow. Maybe @@ -11858,13 +11790,6 @@ Swipple's Rule of Order: Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon. -- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982 % -System/3! System/3! -See how it runs! See how it runs! - Its monitor loses so totally! - It runs all its programs in RPG! - It's made by our favorite monopoly! -System/3! -% Systems have sub-systems and sub-systems have sub-systems and so on ad infinitum -- which is why we're always starting over. -- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982 @@ -13773,24 +13698,6 @@ There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. -- Mark Twain % -There once was a girl named Irene -Who lived on distilled kerosene - But she started absorbin' - A new hydrocarbon -And since then has never benzene. -% -There once was a member of Mensa -Who was a most excellent fencer. - The sword that he used - Was his -- (line is refused, -And has now been removed by the censor). -% -There once was an old man from Esser, -Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. - It at last grew so small, - He knew nothing at all, -And now he's a College Professor. -% There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. -- C. S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia % @@ -13806,30 +13713,6 @@ said, "Look! We're not solving anything like this! The only fair thing to do is to vote on it." So they did, and Mayor Daley won by 97 votes. % -There was a young lady from Hyde -Who ate a green apple and died. - While her lover lamented - The apple fermented -And made cider inside her inside. -% -There was a young man who said "God, -I find it exceedingly odd, - That the willow oak tree - Continues to be, -When there's no one about in the Quad." - -"Dear Sir, your astonishment's odd, -For I'm always about in the Quad; - And that's why the tree, - Continues to be," -Signed "Yours faithfully, God." -% -There was a young poet named Dan, -Whose poetry never would scan. - When told this was so, - He said, "Yes, I know. -It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can." -% There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick index 00c733822ac3..05c3ab781b03 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick @@ -1,8 +1,8 @@ -A computer called Illiac4 -Had a rather tough bug in its core. - It chewed up its cards - And spewed yards and yards -Of illegible tape on the floor. +A UNIX saleslady, Lenore, +Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more. + She found a good way + To combine work and play: +She sells C shells by the seashore. % A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. @@ -11,6 +11,18 @@ Will divide, multiply, and subtract. If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo % +A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison +And had an affair with a Saracen. + She was not oversexed, + Or jealous or vexed, +She just wanted to make a comparison. +% +A dozen, a gross, and a score, +Plus three times the square root of four, + Divided by seven, + Plus five times eleven, +Equals nine squared plus zero, no more. +% A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace; To make people afraid @@ -24,12 +36,24 @@ Was caught and convicted of rape. From which, to his woe He couldn't get out with ESC. % +A limerick packs laughs anatomical +Into space that is quite economical. + But the good ones I've seen + So seldom are clean, +And the clean ones so seldom are comical. +% A linguist thought it a farce That memory space was so sparse. One day they increased it. Said he as he seized it: "At last! Enough core for the parse". % +A new dramatist of the absurd +Has a voice that will shortly be heard. + I learn from my spies + He's about to devise +An unprintable three-letter word. +% A progressive professor named Winners Held classes each evening for sinners. They were graded and spaced @@ -42,15 +66,95 @@ Found programming UNIX a hurdle Ran as slow as did he, And that's not saying much for the turtle. % -There was a young lady from Niger -Who smiled as she rode on a tiger; - They returned from the ride - With the lady inside, -And the smile on the face of the tiger. -% A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. And I'm darned if I know how the helican. % +Despising machines to a man, +The Luddites joined up with the Klan, + And ride out by night + In a sheeting of white +To lynch all the robots they can. + -- C. M. and G. A. Maxson +% +Flappity, floppity, flip +The mouse on the m"obius strip; + The strip revolved, + The mouse dissolved +In a chronodimensional skip. +% +If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, +It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. + Or some joker who is slicker, + Will trick you of your liquor, +If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock. +% +Limericks are art forms complex, +Their topics run chiefly to sex. + They usually have virgins, + And masculine urgin's, +And other erotic effects. +% +System/3! System/3! +See how it runs! See how it runs! + Its monitor loses so totally! + It runs all its programs in RPG! + It's made by our favorite monopoly! +System/3! +% +There once was a girl named Irene +Who lived on distilled kerosene + But she started absorbin' + A new hydrocarbon +And since then has never benzene. +% +There once was a member of Mensa +Who was a most excellent fencer. + The sword that he used + Was his -- (line is refused, +And has now been removed by the censor). +% +There once was an old man from Esser, +Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. + It at last grew so small, + He knew nothing at all, +And now he's a College Professor. +% +There was a young lady from Hyde +Who ate a green apple and died. + While her lover lamented + The apple fermented +And made cider inside her inside. +% +There was a young lady from Niger +Who smiled as she rode on a tiger; + They returned from the ride + With the lady inside, +And the smile on the face of the tiger. +% +There was a young man who said "God, +I find it exceedingly odd, + That the willow oak tree + Continues to be, +When there's no one about in the Quad." + +"Dear Sir, your astonishment's odd, +For I'm always about in the Quad; + And that's why the tree, + Continues to be," +Signed "Yours faithfully, God." +% +There was a young poet named Dan, +Whose poetry never would scan. + When told this was so, + He said, "Yes, I know. +It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can." +% +A computer called Illiac4 +Had a rather tough bug in its core. + It chewed up its cards + And spewed yards and yards +Of illegible tape on the floor. +%